late again

Hewooo! Library’s wifi has been very much unreliable these days, so i am having hard time to access the internet. I am sad and devastated, huhu.

This week is the long-awaited one, time for mid-term exams, yay! I… don’t know. Maybe it would be the best to not anticipate much on the result and shits because… i don’t know. The break will be long tho, almost a full week. And i will be alone in my room for those days, as both of my room mates are coming back to their respective home. Me want too, but can not. Me is sad and devastated.

But hey, i feel like this semester gone by pretty much quickly. I mean it is the mid-term exam time already! A lot of unexpected things happened too, which also means a lot of new experiences. Haven’t gone out that much, though… But i do not mind. Life was stressing me for teeny bit, but yeah, i will not be defeated! I can do this, God is with me. I will be back home in a couple months with a greater version of me!

Before i write further, how does it feel to read a full english update? I am thinking to fix my english ability, and i might as well start from here, hehe (because writing journal almost every week are too much pressure…). But if you guys find this confusing and hard to read, please tell me so. I will not continue this if you guys find this uncomfortable.

Moving on, i am in weird state of mind. I feel like having no friend as no one can really see through me, and that is very unfortunate… I think i kinda miss steven’s kind of friend, the one who acts indifferent yet still is caring towards me, ehe. I don’t know what gets into me, but i find it discouraging when people be like ‘you’re being too loud’ or subtly saying ‘can you just shut the fck up?’; even more when the people are those whom i consider as close friends of mine. I know no inbetween, so i either being very loud or very quiet. But then people have this idea that if i am being quiet, there is problem i am dealing with and they will be asking constantly, ‘are you okay? are you sick or something?’ (when the only thing i am doing is just keeping my mouth shut… i mean there will be time when i want to be quiet, won’t i…?).

It is half past eleven and i should have been in dreamland but here i am instead, typing these shits onto my phone. (i wrote this sunday night, haha)

I wish i could start understanding people and stop having expectation towards them, because things (most of the time) didn’t go the way i wanted.

I think i am starting to get a grip about this whole college things. Life still is hard but i am starting to warm up and loosen up. I am starting to give less fuck, hahaha. It is what it is, whatever may happen and i will just be crazy for a while, and then i will get back to the usual me. I feel like i am slowly setting my own pace, trying to get comfortable.

Anyway, make sure to eat and sleep properly, plus drink enough water! Surabaya is a weirdass one, it is April already but rain still come like crazy, ahahaha, i am liking it tho. BUT ITS STIL PIPING HOT IN HEREEE!

See you later~

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